Good Friday’s Perspective

The timing of Resurrection Sunday and the focus on our risen Lord was so perfect for me.  In a few minutes I’ll post Easter pictures, but first, Friday:

Friday I underwent a small procedure we planned to avoid.  Because the ultrasound diagnosis was clear on my tumor’s malignancy, puncturing the enclosed mass of cancer cells for biopsy was unnecessary.  Every medical professional involved admitted that they would glean no new or helpful information from biopsy.  It was solely to satisfy insurance which refused to accept the ultrasound diagnosis alone.  Desiring to be a good steward of my health, I fought hard for a way around it–to no avail.  Ultimately I faced the fact that to proceed toward surgery, biopsy was inevitable.

To say that I don’t accept bureaucracy and red tape well is a gross understatement.  I may look docile, but I’m also assertive and determined–even rebelliously independent.   I was raised to think for myself, with an unspoken motto of “always question authority.”  I was miffed (ok, furious might be the more honest word choice) that I’d have to have this useless, and potentially damaging procedure.  I was firmly polite on the outside about all of it, but I felt wronged.

On Friday afternoon I lay on the exam table in a hospital gown, while a technician prepared me for my procedure.  I was cheery and chatty, and my blood pressure still characteristically low, but inwardly, resentment brewed.  I was about to get a stab that might dislodge diseased cells and could infect my healthy flesh.  I wanted to scream, “This is wrong!”  Suddenly though, it hit me–it was Friday–two days before Easter–Good Friday!  Suddenly, my own pettiness was placed in perspective!  I opted into this as a bartering tool that insurance might pay for other procedures for my own benefit; Christ was stabbed (and worse) for me, with no benefit to himself.  I was concerned about cancerous cells infecting healthy tissue; but Christ took our cancerous sin upon His holy and pure spirit!   How arrogantly ironic–that I should fume about an unjust stab on this day of all days.

The radiologist’s needle went in, once, then twice, guided by ultrasound and extracting samples of the infected tissue, and I bled–the nurse was surprised at the amount–but somehow, it seemed more trivial to me now–on Good Friday.

As I changed my bandages over the next few days, my heart returned to God’s sovereignty.  How easily I become focused on the temporal and lose sight of eternity. God is sovereign over the insurance companies, the medical maze, and every cell in my body, and He lovingly reminds me to focus on the eternal.  We serve a risen savor!  Christ has conquered death!  I don’t know his plans for me on this cancer journey, but I can trust Him.  My prayer remains that He will be glorified in each step of the process.

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7 thoughts on “Good Friday’s Perspective

  1. It is so good that you bled a lot after the procedure. As you already know, God designed our bodies to flush out impurities with bleeding like that. God was with you. God IS with you! Praying everything will work out for the best.

  2. This post is so encouraging! It is evidence of His working in you and through you!

    Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Praying for His grace for you every step of the way!

  3. my prayers are with you Del. I haven’t seen you in so many years, but I can still “hear” your heart and your voice. I am a lot like you described yourself in this post. Thank you for being a good example to me during this trial in your life today. It is through these trials and difficulties that God is shown greatest. Much love to you.

  4. zut ! I came along wondering why I haden’t seen an article from you since february and made this desagreable discovery.
    Pfffffffffffffffffff. I Just had the same news from my sister yesterday she had surggery on thursday. She didn’t want to tell me because I have been very sick for over 2 years… But everyone convinced her she should tell her sisters…
    I will be praying for you as I do for my sister.
    Que Dieu vous bénisse tous.

  5. Thank you all for the prayers and thoughtful words! Healing is going well, and I’m slowly getting back to routine. Cancer lost this battle.

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