Today at lunch, Keianna voiced a sentiment on all of our hearts–but with a unique, geographically challenged 7 year old twist: Between bites of tossed salad she suddenly exclaimed, “Kivvy belongs here in England with us, not so far away in the Congo!” We laughed and had a quick geography refresher… because we aren’t in England. We’ve never even been to England. We live in Wyoming, quite securely settled into a rather un-England-like region of the United States. Keianna’s been reading too much British literature. Either that or the rain the last few days confused her.
We did encourage her (and remind ourselves) that Kivren belongs where God has her, and that while she ultimately belongs with us, we must wait for God’s timing. It’s a strange dichotomy, being committed to her as ours, and yet trusting while isn’t really our own yet. It’s a good reminder that all we have is truly not ours, but God’s. (Including the children he’s already entrusted to us who are here in our own home and already bear our family name.)
We’d been wondering at the timeline. God placed this little girl before us when she was four days old, and we thought we might be bringing her home by six months. It seemed God wanted us to do all in our power to not waste one day. Yesterday we received word that we will be delayed considerably. There have been other things we’ve wondered about as we’ve progressed on this journey of faith. It will be interesting to see what it will all look like in hindsight. Why did we feel we should be open to two children (and in fact even briefly took a leap of faith toward two), when the doors have closed to more than one? Why did we feel a whispered, “quickly” when now it appears delays are inevitable? We don’t know. We know God has a plan and it is our privilege to be instruments in it. Our prayer is that it bring Him glory.
Learning that we’d likely miss the entirety of her first precious year hit us hard. (I think I’ve shed more tears for these two girls than I’ve shed all together since infancy. I was a colicky baby, so that can’t count.) Despite the hardships, we know we are blessed. There was grave doubt this wee girl would survive her first few weeks, and now she’s healthy and thriving with the most adorable chubby cheeks! God somehow brought her to our attention across the ocean when we weren’t even officially pursuing adoption, but had merely prayed that if it be His will, he place a child before us. His hand has been clearly guiding–we just haven’t been able to see the whole perspective, and we may not have the perspective to see the whole picture for many years–if ever! It’s bigger than we are.
Stay tuned: To see Autumn (all five days of it) in the Democratic Republic of Congo! (We aren’t there in the Congo–but I have an inside source.) (And no, Keianna, we aren’t in England either.)