High School Teacher Arrested

NEW YORK — A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Gonzales said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.

They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say,’ There are 3 sides to every triangle'.”


(Thanks to my friend Carol for passing this along!)



4 thoughts on “High School Teacher Arrested

  1. That is so funny! You had me going until the al-gebra comment. I mean, I’ve had lots of things confiscated at the airport (nail clippers, beverages, etc) because of all the fear that surrounds air travel now. We just had a talk with DD about not ever joking about bombs while you’re in an airport or on a plane. We had a good laugh about not ever saying Hi to your friend named Jack while traveling on a plane! 🙂 She thinks that’s hilarious. It all started when DD jokingly went towards a fire alarm at the US Embassy in Singapore. The security guard came unglued!!! Yikes! Honestly I didn’t even know that she had ever noticed fire alarms at all. She saw it in a movie. Groan… But we had a nice talk about safety and people’s fears. Important for world travelers like us. 🙂

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