Question and Answer

A question/answer format sounds so formal, and, well… almost pretentious!  Makes it sound like I'm an expert on something, lol!  But, a few people commented on my blog (Thanks!) and asked questions, so… here goes. 


Q: mominpa asks:

“Just curious…how often do the girls have “dates” with dad? I see that your daughter is 2…is that when you begin? Does he rotate with each girl or are the “dates” on as needed basis?”


How often? Hmmm… I’m thinking Ken probably does one date every month, or sometimes every two months. We aren't very structured about it.   He takes each one on a date 4-8 times per year.  Every month or two I take a girl to do a one-on-one at the coffee shop. (They get a steamed milk or hot chocolate, and feel SO grown up.)


We usually start about age 2 for the special dates, although when we Ken does errands he usually takes a child, or two along with him, and he’ll often take younger ones to the bank, grocery store, etc, but they don’t usually do special dates apart from ‘just errands’ until 2–at which age they seem to appreciate getting to go out to lunch.


He does a flexible rotation. Pretty much rotates, but if one of the children has accompanied hom on lots of non-date errands and such, while another had been unable to, he may switch the “date” order as needed.


Q. Marineswife asks:

“So, Dell, I'm curious about something. In all the pictures I see of your children, they have their pettidress or bloomers on and shoes and socks and hair done all the time! Are you fooling me or does that get done everyday? “

A. Yep, every day.


The children are all dressed before breakfast, and socks and bloomers are required before the girls even leave their bedroom in the morning. Lately, I've not been doing hair until after breakfast, but it is always done before school–usually by 10am. (We…er, um *I* have been getting a slower start in the mornings lately.) I want to get back to doing hair before breakfast.  Shoes are the ‘norm’ around here, but they are more of a preference than a requirement, and on any given day one child might be sockfooted inside.


I’ve never felt like the day could get started unless we are dressed and presentable. For me, it is less stressful to just get us all ready at the onset of the day, then we are ready for whatever.  There is no mad rush when we go out, or when someone is coming over. I feel like we can be presentable should a tennant drop by to pay rent or whatever. (AND it is WONDERFUL to be always ready in case Ken decides on an impulse to take us all out to dinner, lol!) Most days we DON’T go anywhere, but WE feel better about ourselves because we are ‘pulled together’. Honestly, I can only think of ONE day in the past 6 years when the children’s hair was uncombed and they were not dressed all day. 


It probably helps that I'm neurotic, lol.  Seriously, each family has a different personality. I don't handle spontainity and last minute scrambling as well as many (major understatement!), so I compensate by routine and having us always prepared. 


3 thoughts on “Question and Answer

  1. I *really* admire you for your discipline in getting up and dressed… especially with four little ones. (I have two dd’s who are close to the ages of your oldest two — whom you have listed in the right-hand column.) I *really* need to work on disciplining *me* before I’ll feel I’m able to discipline our children… but perhaps I need to be disciplined right alongside them. lol

    Thanks for complimenting my site! (Maybe if I spent more time on disciplining myself and less time “tinkering” on the computer…) 🙂

    Thank you, too, for your prayers for Melissa!

    ~Merry CHRISTmas!~

  2. yes, the idea of the dates, I have flagged in my mind as a good idea…just not sure when we would actually implement it.

    We do have the special errands with dad…that is a real joy for the boys…and newest the highlight is for mom to go grocery shopping and the boys to stay home and have “MAN/BOY time” as they call it…>I know there is some wrestling involved…who knows what else…. 🙂

    But a time is coming for more of a serious time too…so thanks for sharing!!

  3. Dear Dell,

    can you explain your standard of modesty for the family and the source of it

    Thanks, Kindred Soul Stuck In the City

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